Queer is such a nice thing. But do I like it because I like the idea of being a victim and a rebel? Hopefully not completely. I’m pretty sure it’s not completely. I’m sure a lot of people feel that way. That’s why I can’t usually take queer politics seriously. Not that I don’t believe othering exists, not that I don’t believe there is a big bad machine. I just mostly believe that people are people, and it’s going to be like that forever.
I think straight people can be queer too. I feel like most people are queer. This is where the big bad machine comes in: it snuffs the queer out of people. People are afraid to admit their queerness. Why do I think this? It’s gotta be my own ignorant perspective. It’s just like everyone’s parents saying they don’t believe in bisexuals. Well, I don’t believe that the majority of people are 100% gay or 100% straight, and for the simple reason that I cannot imagine it. From my own perspective. As a queer too queer to figure my queer self out. But I still believe it. I just won’t really act on that belief, fully, because disrespecting identities is a dick move.
So what does queer mean to me? Maybe, self-examination. Acknowledgement that you can’t fully label yourself. That someday, your brain and your heart and your crotch are going to pull a fast one and suddenly you’re going to say, “Hey, that is one cute lesbian,” and realize you’re looking at a boy.